The transition from Summer, into Autumn, into Winter is such a fast one – and for what people will presumably blame on global warming (which I admittedly haven’t really been keeping up with because it’s a bit of a slow burner…) I really don’t feel like we had an Autumn at all. I mean, it’s technically still supposed to be Autumn, but i’m sitting here in my bed under a duvet and a blanket, wearing my pj’s, a jumper and slipper socks to try and hide from the chill (it’s not working, my feet are bloody frozen). Naturally, i’m reminiscing on times when I was much warmer such as Ibiza in September, happy on the beach with cocktail in hand and Oliver Peoples sunglasses on – and now wishing I could feel my toes again. In the spirit of a true Brit, I thought what better thing to do than round up the five worst things about Winter, so we can all moan together about the weather and indulge in a brew, dreaming of tropical heat and cocktails – which we won’t have, because we live in England.
1) Having cold feet for months on end
I actually couldn’t think of anything worse right now, mostly because I currently have cold feet and it’s doing my head in. I feel like it’s just never ending no matter how many pairs of socks you put on under your boots. Seriously, anyone else feel me here? How long til I can wear fancy sandals again and frolic around with my tootsies out?
- Obscene bill amounts
I’m pretty far away from being an adult, even in my mid-twenties. I’ve fully embraced this. I will never be responsible enough to actively think about putting money aside for bills, because wine. I have far bigger priorities, and unfortunately my impulse spending classes as one of those. Oops. I’d feel much less guilty about it if the bills that came through were lovely, small surprises like in the Summer. Ain’t nobody got time for literally having to suffer with the heating off cos you really can’t bear the thought of opening a bill and being frightened at how little pairs of shoes you can purchase this month because of it. But on the bright side, I could buy more socks with the money i’d save keeping the heating off, right?
- Feeling like a total outfit repeater because of jumpers
I feel like i’ve been wearing the same outfit on rotation already, and we’re not even fully in Winter yet. The annoying part about being up early for work is that when it’s so blooming cold when you wake up, you immediately reach for the *cleanest* jumper you can find, throw on your jeans, two pairs of socks, the nearest coat in reach and off you trot. There’s absolutely no consideration to your outfit other than survival. Style points gained during the warmer months = gone. Hello, hobo chic (although without makeup I don’t even think it qualifies as chic, just hobo…).
- Never seeing daylight
Most offices now (at least some that I have worked in), literally don’t have a drop of daylight spilling in – never mind windows. If you have windows in your office, you’re a lucky puppy. You wake up and feel like it’s the middle of the night and you need to go back to sleep because it’s absolutely pitch black outside – totally deceived by nature. Then, go straight to work while the sun rises and leave again when it’s gone. It’s like ’30 Days of Night’ without the vampires.
- Everything’s cranberry flavoured
I hate to be a moaner, but who on earth is buying this cranberry flavoured stuff? Gal just wanted a plain cheese sandwich, not cranberry/lobster/prawn/turkey/spinach/bacon combo rubbish. Now, if you were talking Ross Gellar’s ‘Moist Maker’, then sure – but no one needs to ruin the sanctity that is turkey and gravy. Walking into Costa to pick up my favourite meatball wrap and finding out it’s been replaced with this nonsense is HEARTBREAKING.